Welcome aboard, Tony. I read your post, and it sounds as if your family has suffered a lot of emotional pain. Affairs not only wreck a marriage, but it affects everyone in the family.
Are you legally divorced?
Quote:
It was over a year since my wife moved out , my oldest son not talking to his mum and I had given up all hope of a reconciliation when my wife showed signs that she may be interested in trying again, I had a stupid expectation that she needed to "fight hard for our marriage" , wanting to do regular dinners and things to move quickly,I didn't understand her enough to be patient and let things go slow. She got spooked and backed off.
What do you mean she showed signs that she "may" be interested in trying again? Was there actually a conversation about reconciliation? Did she bring up the subject......or were you pursuing her?
Who was wanting to do regular dinners and things to move more quickly? You or your wife?
I got lost from the point of where you said you had expectations that she should fight hard for the marriage.......to the point of her getting spooked and backed off. Can you answer my questions, or explain your last paragraph again, please?
I am glad you read DR. I think you will get a lot of support here if you post often. The more information you share about your relationship and interactions with your wife, the more it will help us understand.
Your marriage can be saved, Tony. There needs to be a lot healing and guidance for everyone in this family. Do not get into a hurry for her to move back in with you. Take it very slowly and get professional family therapy. You don't want this pain repeated.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
