What should I be doing (Working toward D 9)

[cbtdad]

Wow!
That's a lot Cnut!
Please don't get mad at me for saying this, but you still love her and want to be with her. Your angry. That is an opposite of love. If you were indifferent and ready to move forward you wouldn't even have that conversation.
I wouldn't worry about what she is doing or not. I think a physical separation is a good idea at this point.
I don't think she is ignoring everything as much as she believes what she is telling you to be is truth.
I am just saying this as outside observer of the conversation, but there seemed to be a lot of mind reading on your part.
Remember you are not her. You do not know what she is thinking or feeling.
Man this is tough stuff.
I know people say marriage shouldn't be this hard, but every couple that I have talked to that has been together for 25 years or longer says they have been through years were they didn't want to be in there marriage any longer
I don't know what you want in the end and I am not sure you do either right now. At least not with any certainty, so I think you should move out for a week and start there