What should I be doing (Working toward D 9)

[Coconut]

WW:
I haven't spoken to your mom because I'm scared to. I want to, I miss her like crazy & she is very important to me. I plan to speak to her it I don't know what you've told her or what I'd be walking in.

WW:
I have no desire to speak to Cousin, I expect that your family would take your side. They think your perfect & I'm sure nothing you say to them will change their mind. Cousin constantly posting stupid [censored] on FB when this is really none of his business has made me really not want anything to do with him. Especially because he has zero room to talk [censored] about anyone. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

Even if our relationship was reparable, my relationship with him is not

WW:
I have stopped defending myself to you because you don't believe me anyway so I feel like it's wasted breath. I did not continue a relationship with him. I was not in love with him. I said things to him that I didn't mean because I was looking for the companionship that I wasn't getting from you. You completely misunderstood my conversation with Friend. After I thought we decided to divorce I refriended him but that's it. I was trying to be honest with him about my intentions being that of a friend. That's it, regardless of what you think.

WW:
We do not talk at all. I see him once in a while at the station & I'm friends with him on FB but that's it. I have seen or talked to him on any type of messaging system in weeks.

ME:
That explanation doesn't explain you saying you wanted to let him know why you were sad the night before or that you didn't want to have secrets

ME:
Quote from her- I said things to him that I didn't mean because I was looking for the companionship that I wasn't getting from you.

That part is definitely not true, because after we had our first discussion I recognized what I was doing and completely changed my attention to you and Austin.. Austin noticed it, accepted it and loved it... But you ran from my attention and then started the affair, so don't say you did it because you weren't getting attention from me

WW:
I did

ME:
Then that's on you, because I was giving you all the attention I could when you started the affair.. If you chose not to accept the attention, that's on you

WW:
Of course. It's always on me. Well in your mind anyway.

ME:
So are you saying I wasn't trying to spend time with you, give you attention and affection when you started the affair? I'm confused

That's why I asked you to go to individual counseling, because almost 5 months after having the affair I still don't think you understand why you did it...