Anna 2.0

[Cherry]

I didn't think he was, and certainly not too start. He didn't like me having male friends, again, at the start he didn't say anything. But as time went on- I would get digs about talking to guys and the "you know he only wants one thing". He also would make a point of making sure every man in our work place knew I was his girlfriend (I'm not big headed in the slightest, but I had a LOT of attention from guys in the office, not that I can ever understand why!). We got together soon after I started there and he proposed a couple months later, we were married within 8/9 months. And he would say "I had to marry her before someone else had the chance to".

I was always always open and honest, he had access to my phone should he have ever wanted to look, and I did to his up until he started being wayward again. But he never would have found anything, even in this sh*tstorm that is reality right now- I tell guys I'm married.

After we had baby, he became more controlling. He didn't want me to take baby to see my family. And if I did, he would get angry with me. I don't know why as he always had a great r with them, especially my dad. They treated him like one of their own.

Then there was more behaviour that could be perceived as controlling, like he didn't trust me. Even now, when I've gone out- there's the "where are you going" "who are you going with".

I never really saw him as a controlling type but it's only now when I look back I can start to think maybe he is a little controlling.

I'd say only a week ago, I was still retching trying to make food, all because I was concerned my actions would drive him away. This past week I've started to ease off on that, as I thought he's seen an L, he's seeing another woman. I've been busting my ass to be the best mom/woman/wife/lover and he's still gone.

And I still can't mention anything about myself, EVER, without getting "it's not all about you". He asked me my feelings about something last week, when I told him what I thought/felt and I got "it's not about you, you always bring it back to yourself", kinda hard not to when you ask me specifically how do I feel about something... I guess I cannot win