Anna, I am not a man (I am sure you know that) and I find you insanely attractive. Gorgeous, kind, intelligent and a great mum! I really do think that you have quite the whole package.
JksD, you are always such a sweetheart... Such a pretty and kind person, and definitely the whole package yourself!
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Of course you are still attractive to men. Attractiveness is more than just youth -- in fact, youth and immaturity is unattractive.
ForGump, I think what I was trying to say was less about physical attractiveness, and more about interest in me as a person. Getting male attention for the physical assets is pretty easy for females in general, I think. But H never showed much interest in me as a person even before things got really bad. At best, he tolerated me. If I came in from work and wanted to talk about my day, he'd look bored and tell me to call my mom instead. If I offered an opinion about something, I was always wrong..."for such a smart person, I don't know how you can be so dumb." I didn't fold his laundry correctly, or cook or clean properly. By the time things really got bad, he was deliberately verbally abusive and acted like it was painful for him to even have to hear words from my mouth. So at this point, having someone *want* to talk to me, spend time with me, or care what I think and feel is pretty incredible.
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My H did a 180, has taken responsibility for his actions, and is still working on bettering himself. Still into 16 months of piecing I am working on forgiveness. Once we "get them back," the hard work begins of restoring a broken M. It takes two strong people.
Blu, so happy for you that you are working towards a full reconciliation. Forgiveness is hard, but it's as much for you as it is for him. It took me two years to really come to grips with H's first PA and begin to move on mentally and forgive. I think we have a tendency to want to hold on to things because we're so afraid of letting go and risking being hurt again. But that kind of pain is such a burden to carry in your heart... Kudos to you for doing the hard work to come back together and making it work!
