Chapter 3. Let the detachment begin

[SH_]

Good evening bigybiz.

I could be wrong.
I am only able to share my thoughts and feedback on what I see you sharing.
I sense that my feedback may not be what you want to hear nor helping.
I will back off as my hope is to share an outside perspective from what I have learned and lived.
Some food for thought as I back up.

SH - I think you are wrong in my case. It's taken me months to figure this out and I truly believe that if there is any chance for us to return to being in a MR - my W needs to feel a loss and realize that I won't put up with her nonsense.

How is she going to feel loss with so much interaction with you. Your posts tend to be about ensuring an interaction with her over minor details and they sound as if you are chastising a child, not setting boundaries, nor creating loss.
Again, I could be wrong, but this is what it appears.

Further, she needs to see that we are moving on without her. Yes, I will have to pick my battles and choose what I think is worth fighting for. Sandi2 what do you think? But, I'm not overly focused on the spoiled child thing.

Sandi2, others? I'm particularly would like a few opinions from the ladies.

Hopefully you can keep moving on without her. You may be better served by actually doing so in a manner that you beleive you are moving on without her. Once you truly believe it, then she will.
Anything less and she will sense it.
Do you think she knows how you will react when she does little things like pop in un announced, sends you an email or short changes the agreed upon finances?
A little hint on the answer, I believe I know what you are going to do, and I have only known you a short time via our virtual community.

Again, I could be wrong, but this is what it appears.

My last thought. I caution you seeking out such specific steps with everything you do with DBing. Your quest to obtain the steps that you must take to ensure the outcome that you want is not the secret to success. If there were such a formula we would all be following it.
Go back and read DR.
It says that you will need to set your goals. Set your actions. Take said actions. Step back and monitor. Keep doing what is working. Stop doing what is not.
Rinse and repeat.
And as sandi2's signature says.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!

Hopefully the ladies stop by and provide the feedback you are seeking and that it may benefit you for what you want to know.
I will still be here supporting you my friend, I will just back up a bit.
You have done some tremendous things and are an example for so many lbs that are dragging their feet with getting up and moving forward through the pain.
I believe you are close to being successful here. I hope that you can get past your inner self that is fighting the healthy detachment so you can get over the top.
You have demonstrated the physical ability. Once you conquer the mental aspect I sense that you will flourish and achieve great things.
Be well my friend.
I am pulling for you.