Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 3)

[ForGump]

I think she has no faith any of my changes will be permanent so sees me as I was.

I try to draw up a mental list of all of the attributes "next guy" would have to have...

My W gets frustrated w/ me because I have no trouble entertaining various ideas about a situation, from different angles -- whereas for her, to entertain an idea is almost like committing to it and living the reality of it (poor impulse control, I told you.)

So, for me, considering "what the next guy is like" is kind of an exercise in trying to understand her frame of mind. What does she *think* she's missing from me. But I don't necessarily buy that that's what is *good* for her, and I don't necessarily buy that *that's* the guy I need to become.

I would tell you, JRuss, to be the guy who you want to be. Surprise yourself. Surprise her. Don't fit within her neurotic mental box. Be the guy that makes *you* happy. Maybe what she likes is *exactly* the guy who doesn't give a damn. The guy doesn't mind making mistakes, and just moves on to something else the next day.

As always, as I talk to you, I'm really talking to me...