Wife wants to separate at end of school year # 2

[JRuss]

Bhuda1 -- just read through your sitch and wanted to offer support. I'm in a very similar boat: in home separation with W-announced date of future separation/divorce, but, for now, living an outwardly cordial, but not intimate, life.

I have also resolved not to bring up R talk, at all. It's been disastrous when I have (quit doing what doesn't work is great advice I learned here), and, if we could actually discuss our R as a couple, as adults, well, we wouldn't be in such dire straights marriage-wise. So I avoid, but, like you, I'm dying a slow death on the inside with worry, anxiety, fear of the future, etc.

Detachment is where both of us need to get, but it's the getting there, when our spouses are right there, acting in almost all ways like our Ws, that's proving very difficult for me. Wanting, hoping, worrying -- all of it -- is evidence that we're still too enmeshed. If you have time, you might want to check out my thread. Several of us inhome separated guys are from time to time woodshedding on ways to best detach.

Hang in there!