Had a bad night last night, dropped something off to W on the way to the gym. Some conversation to organise a few things and I had been feeling ok. However, I blacked out in front of W coming to lying on her entrance to her apartment. Managed to walk away and sit down for awhile, W came over saying she would drive me home but I just wanted to wait and recover myself. She talked a little more, I talked more than I meant but think that was also to do with the aftereffects. W still says she broke, that we both broke in different ways but she has no interest in working things out and fixing herself. She went back in and I got myself home. Didn't sleep well at all, Dad phoned me at 4am because W had sent him a message and tried to call him saying she was concerned about the father of her children.
In work this morning but not very productive, I have been suffering from Chronic Stress for a couple of years now and do manage to get it under control mostly. Big step backward last night though.
I was doing ok a few weeks ago, felt really good but know my head is still too busy trying to fix this. Need to get back to before and focus more on me. I have been too focused on still trying to look after the full family rather than just my smaller one of me and the kids.
