A WW? (3)

[lt0402]

Cheesyt, I've had conversations with D the past few months where we have talked about me forgetting stuff and breaking promises. I am guilty of that in the past. I know now I was too focused on work and had little energy when I got home to focus on her. Fully own up to that part of things.

D now though is very happy with how I'm acting (at least per our conversations). Her biggest complaint about me is the I never help mommy with anything (had this conversation last weekend) and mommy is so busy she desperately needs my help. W does yoga and runs for 3-4 hrs a day and does God knows what else now. I work from 7-6 at least every day and can barely squeeze in any gym time. That rubs me the wrong way and makes me wonder if WW is not feeding things Into to Ds brain.

D also is highly afraid of doing anything to "aggravate" mommy. That's messed up and she shouldn't have to worry about that. IC and I have been discussing mother - daughter relationships and man are those crazy.

Trying to be a rock for my D but it's hard right now. It's almost as though WE is doing things to purposefully force me to lose focus on my goals. For example, I'm back at the gym for the first time since vacation this morning. Been trying to get here every day but have been wiped out in the mornings bc of his and tied up with catchup at work post vacation.

Sad part for WW is I know im stronger than she is and she will only temporarily drag me back into the muck with her. At this point I fully expect things to get worse in the short term as she continues losing control over me and D. What she does I don't know, but trying to be prepared for it.

15 more minutes on the bike here at the gym, work, L, then gym again today. Hoping for a quiet day but wouldn't bet on it.

FG, yep, brutal to stomach that letter, though it's the same stuff she keeps saying (minus a cpl additions) just twisted in different ways.

D is awesome at engineering type stuff. She likes to sit down with a ream of paper and design new airplanes then test how they fly. Tweak something and retest. She is awesome and keeps me going. It was a welcome break from all this last night. Though it bothered me when W inserted herself in our time. Didn't show it but I don't know if she thinks that's how life is after this.