Taking my first sip of the water

[Altair]

Ghost,
eh,
a room tidy isn't worth your ball retrieval or not, in my opinion. i think the self harming happens to kids these days if their parents are separating or not, I've seen a lot of it, I am speaking from experience of knowing teens.
Don't be hard on yourself.
Develop a relationship with your son (and daughter) that you want, for you , for them. Teenagers these days are HARD. They don't live in the world we grew up in. I've had IC tell me to focus on the relationship with the kid, not sweat small stuff like messy room. This of course is in contrast to your W, but you can somehow separate your feelings about the room, and hers, validate both of them, and keep neutral. my advice is the last sentence.