Taking my first sip of the water

[ATPeace]

So to share a little more information

I just feel that they should compromise but my w is stubborn and never backs down and eldest son he is digging in his feet he has already been punished big time and because she did not manage to get him to back down and do his room she is adding further punishments / blackmail (his view). Conditions /boundaries (her view).

He did tidy his room at least he started to but because it was not done to her level she did not let him go on a summer break with a school friend.

I feel I should step in as the man of the house regain my balls not to undermine her or to come down on him like a ton of bricks but to stand as the voice of reason and put a stop to this before my son and my W fall out big time.

Remember I had a massive falling out with my eldest daughter and it has taken a very long time with lots of effort for me to repair our relationship I feel it is now much better but still has potential to fire up if not managed respectfully.

My son is a very hard worker and a good lad does a lot for me but then I do a lot for him my W does very little for my son and so he does very little for her this needs to be addressed. I was always very close to my son and she was closer to our daughter.

One other huge concern is that in the past he has got upset and has self harmed he has cut himself lightly with a blade....yesterday when he was told that he was not going to be allowed to go on the summer break he got so upset that he cut himself ...again it was lightly but it was enough to give me concern.

So I have a 17 year old daughter that has self harmed and has taken an overdose small enough that it was a cry for help but non the less an overdose and I have a 15 year old self harming .....so is this because they are both so unhappy about mummy and daddy separating and the threat of living in seperate houses or is it because mummy and daddy are separated yet living together is it this causing them to get upset as they see daddy upset and mummy pulling away ...or is it just them being teenagers rebelling

Do I move out ask my son where he wants to live live ...I suspect he will say with me just as my daughter would say she wants to live with mummy and then child swap the other children with my W ....I want to keep the family unit together but at what cost ?

Thank you

Ghost