Taking my first sip of the water

[Cherry]

I agree with Altair, you need to tread carefully with playing one another off and risk of playing mr nice guy dad who allows anything so long as kid is happy.

This is really tricky. My child is a toddler, and at times. I really don't agree with how my wh parents. But who am I to say that I'm right and he's wrong. So meeting in a middle ground would be good. Tell your wife you will speak to him. And don't do it for son, but assist. Help him reorganise, rearrange his BR.