Husband just told me he is moving out.

[Mombear]

I'm new here. Just looking for support, advice, and some kind words. We've been married 16 years as of tomorrow. Husband told me last night he has signed a lease and is moving out. We haven't told the kids yet... Two boys, ages 7 and 9.

Right now, we have to decide if we can take our family vacation as planned the last week of August. The kids are SO excited and in some ways I really want to give this to them, and I think I can handle it. We'd tell them about the separation after the fact.

Husband is very depressed... Started last fall when he started telling me he didn't feel connected to me anymore. He couldn't, wouldn't give me any more details than that. We started marriage counseling, but after about 7 visits, ended it... It wasn't going anywhere and he wasn't willing or able to do the work. Said he sees the world in black and white and feels numb.

He won't go back to counseling, so I agree this is the next step... Separation. I'm just sad, scared, and confused. I don't even recognize him anymore. He is a shell of the man I married. He refuses to deal with the depression... Believe me, everyone around him has begged him but it is a non-starter.

I'm not sure how or when to tell kids, or what to tell them. I know my youngest son will have a very hard time with splitting time between two places. He's always been a mommas boy and refuses to let anyone else put him to sleep. It is going to be hell.

Anyway, that is a short version of my story.

Thanks for reading.