My WW and I did the same thing. I kept hoping for an improved marriage and she kept playing me. When she moved out, suddenly everything felt much lighter and happier. I guess that was the beginning of "real" detachment; I realised everything was just as good (or better) without her.
But, having said that, I think it's situation dependent. If my wife had been at least somewhat open to working on our marriage, then I think it would've been better for her to remain at home. Unfortunately, her litmus test for me was acceptance of the OM as "just a friend." Fortunately, my MC/IC would have none of that. (My IC is truly a wonderful woman.)
But, this is about detachment, and I agree, detaching while living together has got to be difficult.
