I have the same mind-wandering moments when it's just me and the kids together and have the same feelings when they occur. I try to tell myself it's the effort that counts, and that some of that is to be expected given how hard our lives have been shaken by all of this, but it still really [censored] when you realize your kid has been trying to get your attention for some unknown amount of time while you ruminate on the same old depression crap.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)