In the UK - PT20 - Moved here!

[123Gwen]

2 years after BD and I still believe MLC is real. The vulnerability a person feels at certain stages in life coupled with life events, the modern economy, alcohol and drugs and people who could care less about sleeping with a married person....one or all of these behaviors can be a catalyst that results in the extreme situations on this board.

As times goes on I have also realized that MWD is advising us in a gentle way to save ourselves because you just can't know this person you thought you knew. The trajectory has changed so much and the spouse in crisis doesn't have skills or courage to stand with you in their marriage. After the crisis subsides many people just take an easier path. Tragic but true.

I had a friend that entered into an affair with a coworker who pursued her during a vulnerable time. Her H was upset but he never had a chance because he couldn't be the new love. Friend married coworker and years later she admitted she loved her first H but it just seemed easier to leave. I asked if she were happier with this H but she also admitted that she thinks so but then confessed that she would never be able to know because she was comparing herself to what she felt at the end of her 1st marriage because that was her last memory. She was uncomfortable making this admission and I doubt her first H will ever know. It was very tragic but helpful to me.

One step at a time, one day at a time. Sending you good karma my friend.