Wowwee! ... I got one thing from that long post ...
The man is looking at ways to make the R work! ... to make it better instead of running from it!!!
He coulda kept quiet and said she's never gonna change and backed off in the opposite direction, but no ...
he choose to try to work with you by sharing his insights in hopes that in the future you two can get along better. It sounds like you now have a common goal! ... and as long as each sees the other making an effort to move closer to that goal ... the closer you will continue to draw each other. ... and that's why it OK to him that you bring up your share of R-Talks now. ... but keep it in balance. Use the DBing guidelines. Keep to one topic at a time ... use "I" statements ... avoid casting blame ... validate ... validate ... validate ... but don't be afraid to tell him what you want (notice I didn't say "ask" ) ... just but it out there as a way of expressing somehthing you want to share rather than directly asking something of him. For instance, "H, at some point I would like to see us as duo that does/doesn't ... " Let him hear it once and let it go and allow him some time to come back and offer it in his way.
Heed his words carefully, and be consistant with your 180's to show him you're working on it, not to mention doing it for yourself so you can lead a more stress free life!!!
Mooka, looks to me like you're gonna get a chance to "fix" this together...
...
... and as long as each sees the other making an effort to move closer to that goal ... the closer you will continue to draw each other. 
... and that's why it OK to him that you bring up your share of R-Talks now. ... but keep it in balance. Use the DBing guidelines. Keep to one topic at a time ... use "I" statements ... avoid casting blame ... validate ... validate ... validate ... but don't be afraid to tell him what you want (notice I didn't say "ask" ) ... just but it out there as a way of expressing somehthing you want to share rather than directly asking something of him. For instance, "H, at some point I would like to see us as duo that does/doesn't ... " Let him hear it once and let it go and allow him some time to come back and offer it in his way.
