How to rekindle love? (2)

[Rose888]

Thanks for adding the link, Cadet!

On the previous thread, EDF said this:


At the base level, what I really desire is to know that my W wants to please me, and that she will continue to want to please me. Her having a raging libido would be one way to guarantee that, but I know she has the lower libido so relying on her being in the mood seems like a very shaky long-term proposition. So maybe don't worry too much over trying to convince your H that your libido or desire for sex has improved, but instead try to show him that your desire to do what it takes to please *him* has improved. I think the latter might be easier for H to trust.

Men, sexually, are pretty straight forward. It's like a button where a few minutes of effort can make the man feel incredible. From my personal male "all about me" perspective, why doesn't my wife want to push that button all the time? Even if my W isn't in the mood, or is busy, or whatever... there are a lot of creative ways to push the button. If my wife had a button like that, I would be pounding it constantly... just seems like a no-brainer.

So maybe show your husband that your libido/arousal isn't a limiting factor, you just really appreciate him and like pushing his button because of how it makes him feel.

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I hear what you are saying, but I think my H has a hard time believing that I will continue to want to push the button. Because, you see, he has 22 years of me not being willing to.

I think that trust will come with time, and it no longer feels like he is about to bolt, so I think he will see over time that I am valuing our sex life and continuing to prioritize it.

However, we all know stories here can turn on a dime, so I don't want to get cocky or complacent.

H suffers from depression that at times edges into MLC, so this could be a temporary lull.