Lost at the moment (2)

[lfm]

Ugh, having a rough evening emotionally. I've been kind of messed up emotionally since our wedding annivesary on Friday, but today, was going thorugh some receipts, looking for a repair receipt for one of the kids cards and ran across a card from my wife that she gave to me on my last Birthday, which was around the time her EA was getting started, eventually turning into a PA.

Anyway, the card said something to the effect about how she knew I was the one from the time she first saw me. Can't help but ask myself how'd we get to where we are now from a card like that about 6 months ago. Blows my mind at how much things have changed.

My emotions are also telling me that I'm not as dettached as I thought I was, that I'm still holding out hope for a reconcilliation that at this point I don't see happening. Not that anything is ever written in stone, but just doesn't seem possible to get to that point anymore.

Today was also the first day of school for our kids today, and I walked our youngest in as it was her first day in a new school and wanted to make sure she felt comfortable as she often gets overwhelmed when there's a lot of new people around. I couldn't help but think that this may be the last time doing this with our family still somewhat intact. It was hard seeing the other young couples who seemed so happy, knowing that it's been a long time since I've actually felt that way about my W, and her about me.

Anyway... I feel like I'm starting to ramble. Another day to get through tomorrow. Hope everyone is having a good week!