Hello..KAW,Wonder, Nik, Wiley,Holdingon, Slowly..and all.
I am so grateful for all your continued support. This is such a safe harbor for me to air out my thoughts and journal to such wonderful, trusted ciber-friends. Thank you.
H called this morning to ck in on his way to the airport. He has a day trip to the east coast. He small talked for a while....then asked how I was doing. I said I'm doing great, was waiting for a client to call, so might have to hang up quickly. (which was true!)
He asked what was new. I gave him tidbits about our S and his job, friends, etc. He liked that. He asked about the dog. Then went on to ask if I was free Fri afternoon. I said I had clients until mid-late afternoon. He asked if he could come out around 3pm, beat the rush hour. He said, if you're home, maybe we could go hit balls or play 9 holes. (This is our new recreational pursuit together). I said I could probably make that work. We could talk later in the week.
He was sooo friendly, chatty....like old times. It's like we are building a trust again, from a distance. He has not brought up any big future talks....just plans for the next 2-3 weeks. So....I'm trying hard to DB, yet offering him safety....no rejection. It's that fine line or tightrope that KAW refers to. Gently, but cautiously allowing H to pursue....and he seems to be feeling good about all of our interactions. He seems to want me in his life more and more.
It reminds me of our early days of dating....yes, way back when!!!!
I still have my boundaries and standards for a future M that is alive, dynamic, honest, passionate and fully open in communication. I will not accept less. This is the new M I expect one day....with or without H. I deserve it all, cuz I am willing to give all of that and will NOT accept anything less.
Ok...enough already Mooka....we get the point!
I'm continueing on my spiritual journey, which is so key for me. That's a daily thing that is very alive inside me, and I am so grateful. People that know me well, can see that light, holding me strong. I love it!
(which was true!)
