The seed beneath the bitter snows is me!

[2Times2Many]

Thank you Job, mleigh4 and HaWho for stopping by. You have no idea how much I appreciate all the support I get here.

I feel like I've been walking around in a daze since Saturday night. This whole thing just seems so surreal to me. If someone had told me 10 or 15 years ago that I'd be where I am today, that H would be doing what he's doing today, I would have told them they were as crazy as a loon. I guess we never know what life will throw at us.

I contacted an attorney today that deals with business issues. The secretary said she'd call back tomorrow to set up an appointment. If I don't hear from her, I'll move on to the next one on my list.

This whole thing is really frightening to me. When I "threaten" to end H's fantasy lifestyle, he's going to come out with both guns blazing. Given his propensity to uncontrollable anger, I'm actually somewhat afraid of the repercussions I'll have to face. It won't be amicable.

I haven't had much contact with H since he left. He calls into the office and we talk, but I try to keep it strictly business. He's ventured into other minor issues, like a movie he saw, but I try not to engage too much when answering.

And I stopped wishing him a pleasant day or weekend. That's really hard for me to do. He always ends with "hope you have a great day" but every time I responded in kind, I always hung wondering if I just wished him a good time with OW. So I stopped doing it. The end of our conversations are very awkward for me. I'm not like that. I'm usually pleasant and nice to everyone ... even the checkout gal at the grocery store. It's not my nature to do otherwise. But I think being nice to H just feeds his belief that he can manipulate me into doing what he wants me to. Oh well.

I have the rest of the week off, so I'll be doing for me with no "have to do's" on my agenda ... a lot of time to focus on me and help me get my bearings once again.

{{{HUGS}}} to everyone.
2T