Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 3)

[JRuss]

ForGump -- I do ask how her day went and sympathize w/ joy/sadness. Detaching runs head on into being present/validating at times, for me. I guess I should just be quiet and see if she initiates, but a 180 for me was to really work hard and teach myself to be present and listen, validate, not try to "fix" problems (which minimizes them, I've learned), so sitting there mute seems wrong.

On the larger picture of what does it mean for us inhouse separated types, more and more I'm thinking it probably means we're buggered. I'm not sure I've seen anyone who got even to piecing under that arrangement; seems that a party moving out is necessary in those still-rare instances where couples came back to each other.

Feels bleak.