Hi C'nut, I have been away on vactation witht he kids the past few weeks. Had a great time with them but still struggle with the feeling of that missing part. Part of that is also the realisation of what i'm missing when they are not with me as they are going to be with W for 2 weeks now.
The letter is similar to your text in some ways, what i would need to reconcile and if she is sure this is the direction she wants to go. I am going to be making a decision on our house in the nest few weeks if I'm buying her out or selling it. We have not long built it and I put a lot of work into it myself so I am finding it difficult.
In some ways, I think it's a thought of closure to me because I have been struggling in a bit of limbo the last couple of months. I have been out meeting new people and enjoying myself but missing my kids.
At the beginning of this my W was on script but the last few months it has been very different. She pushes things and threatens with legal action etc but when I have pushed back firmly without the confrontation, it's like she goes into hiding. One of the laws here is that she can charge me 'rent' for her half of the house she is not living in. She came at me with this treat of legal action if I didn't pay this amount to her by this date. I informally wrote her an email stating that she had missed her half of the house bills (taxes and water) and that I would only paying less than half of what she wanted. the missed payments by her covered the next 2 months of my 'rent'. I got no answer to this email, and when I got home today and checked the account she had put in the full amount she had been putting in previously.
One of complaints has been the controlling card, yet even now, she wants me to come up with all the plans. The kids, the house, the bills.
She won't deal with me in person, most of the time, she actually tried to avoid me just before we went on vacation. I needed a couple of things for the kids that were at her place and she tried to sneek up to the door to leave them off. I opened the door and gave her some of the food that would only have gone bad, didn't look like she knew what to do.
In what I have written, if she is sure, then I also put down how I want that to be. I don't want anymore of these late night texts and emails etc.
When I read these stories and see how difficult guys are having when they say their W looks great (especially the ones that seem to be involved with someone else) my W looks terrible to be honest. When she had depression before and cheated, she told how much it wrecked her. For me I see the same now, I know she has the ability to hermit and close herself away. I know she is not completely doing that but from some accounts she isn't very happy. However I know my W and she is extremly stubborn to recognise and admit her own faults. I think like you said, it would be more of opening the door a little and see what happens. The downside if she doesn't give me any kind of answer then I'm still in the same boat which is why it's still sitting here.
