But way back when, one of them coined this situation as "time to sit on the discomfort sofa". You know... the one that is lumpy, has no support and is just generally uncomfortable but you're stuck there because you don't have anywhere else to go?
So don't wander. Sit your ass on that sofa and figure it out. Don't get up and wander until you have a plan. Even if it's a daily plan. You can always come back to the lumpy sofa
Originally Posted By: Wonka
What is the discomfort sofa telling you? What types of buried pain are inside your body? What are they trying to communicate to you? If you sit still on the discomfort chair without fidgeting, the revealed answers just may surprise you.
Betsey and Wonka, thanks for the introduction to the discomfort sofa. I love the mental image.
It's really no surprise that I don't know what I"m doing, considering how much my life has changed in two years. I was so immersed in my family, in my husband, in my children, in my church/job/school. Most of that has been stripped away and I just don't know what to do with myself. I feel stable, I do have a job, although not a terribly exciting one, I do have one child at home who needs me, I do have friends and a social life, but yet..... I really don't know what's missing here. I'd love to be able to hear some sort of answer, to figure this out, to be excited about something again. I'm not sure how to do that. Wonka, is there any process you have found helpful?
I've given some thought as to what I want out of life and made some long-term goals of sorts. I've broken those things down into more manageable pieces and thought of some specific actions I can take. This week I've made a daily list of things to accomplish, boxes to be checked off. I don't know that I"ll be happy ticking little boxes forever, but the way I tied them into something larger gives me a sense of purpose to some extent. That helps.
There are two other things going on that may or may not be affecting my outlook. One is that I'm still unhappy without MyNica, enough said about that. The other is that a friend I have known a couple of years but grown quite close to in the past few months just dropped me out of the blue. I asked him to explain what was going on, told him I was hurt. He didn't explain, didn't acknowledge my hurt, certainly didn't apologize, just cut off all contact. Why do people handle it that way, what's so hard about an honest conversation? How could someone who knows how hard BD was just do essentially the same thing? It makes me spin, and makes me wonder how many more times in my life someone is going to pull that on me.
My kids all come back tomorrow night, the older two will leave back to college on Friday. D13 starts school Monday so the weekend will be busy getting her prepared for that. I have an outing with friends planned on Saturday. All good, all normal. But I'll take some time out to sit on the couch.
