Thanks for sharing the links, I had those links 6 months ago and studied as much as I could. These are very useful knowledge, I had the knowledge and the next step I did was 'let go' of him.
I'm pulling myself all together piece by piece; he had me 'destroyed' little by little these three to four years, I have to admit it I was lost, we lived under the same roof but he was cold and distant; like I was living alone and I try to please him from time to time, till the bomb dropped, he seldom communicate, I hurt myself in getting his attention and he sees that as pressure and threaten. He didn't help me with the chores and he did not give me money(I got a job and I have my own saving) after I read all the information from this forum I had the idea and I realized the problem he had; lack of coping skill, his poor, miserable childhood. I'm not perfect, but I have models, I know how my father and mother are together, they love each other, support each other...
I do love this man, he wasn't like this when we were young and we were together the early years. I chose to stand (he stopped pushing me for divorce since this January)
There was a period of time, I hate to see the mirror, can not recognize myself from the mirror, I asked 'who I am really' ??
He is quiet now, I enjoy doing things by myself and for myself, If I could I would love to help others. I work as volunteer for church, prepare food for the poor and started the language lessons, I enjoy reading, listening to music, I went to movie, walk or jogging after work. I even had the interests in dressing up a little. I was unhappy for years, living with him(MLCer) was a burden I have to say.
Knowledge is power ! Without the forum, I could not make it to where I'm now.
