Ghost, I didn't write the above my lovely, it is from the archives and it is classic DB.

I have a couple of immediate thoughts and will respond in Greater detail later, today is a tough day at work.

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Ghost, something that has been saidesigned several times, I think your W is a WAW not a WW. You treat a WAW sitch differently to a WW one. In due course after your W walks away she may begin LRT and date. That does not make her wayward.

I see you as neglectful of yourself and your M, in the period I have known you Ghost I do not see you ever as abusive. Simple neglect is not abuse.

Your W was attracted to you and you made beautiful babies. So attraction is a given.

I think you cling and fret with your W, you fear being alone and as a tactic this may have worked for a while.

To be the man of the house, the leader again, is likely to be very attractive to W. This is going to be haRD work and will not be instant.

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If I were in your shoes

1. I would read DR monthly. We retain about 9% of what we read so rereading helps.

2. Use Sandi rules daily. I had them laminated.

3. Cease focusing on your W and your M and focus on YOU for at least 12 months. Become the best you can be.

4. Have goals for YOU.

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The threads I would recommend most to you is Edz, his W was a WAW too. He successful reconciled with his W and I understand is a very happy bunny these days.

It is a long journey Ghost.

SH is one of the most grounded posters here, and a safe pair of hands.

And yes, V is a WAW. I am not in any way wayward.

If you are ready to know that you can shift, then with the wonderful DB posters here you can choose to. This is a very slow fix. Which is why I think you have preferred to loop instead.

It's your journey.

And this phase is a long one, at least 12 months to become the leader of your family.

You can choose to focus forwards not backwards.

Start by smiling at that man in the mirror every day. He is a good man who stumbled, and he did not break.

V

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW