The Fight for Self II

[CT1118]

Yes, she has pain, no doubt. Urgent danger triggers two things - fight or flight. Living a youth trapped in that mental state of stress,except you can't seek flight and you are too young too fight will do lasting damage.

Imagine being on an airplane which is crashing for 40k ft. You can't run, there is nothing to fight - oh, and just to make sure you have no time to make peace with what's happening, let's say the plane recovers, then fails, then recovers, then fails...gaining 1k and loosing 2k in elev. each time until you just wish it would crash so the stress would stop.That's my childhood, hers too. You can be seemingly normal, happy in your M, happy as a parent, happy in your adult life. then one day something happens, something replays a movie from your life, it's bad and you view it as the inescapable truth of now as well as then. You want to prevent it. Except your not a kid anymore, some find a way to run - some turn around and fight.

ACE....Adverse Childhood Experience. A scale created in the 1990's based upon statistical analysis of real,world people. 1-10 categories each worth 1pt. Any score over 3 will statistically result in some detrimental effect on adult health/disease, emotional behavior, and social behavior in their lifetime if abuse is left untreated. The higher the number, the likelihood of a shorter lifespan by up to 20 years increases exponentially; example, 6 or more and the person has a 4000% greater chance of using IV drugs that the average bear. That ain't no extra zero either. Cancer, chronic, pain, addiction, permiscuity, diabetes, obesity, depression, inability to form relationships, learning disabilities, mental illness, etc...all chances increase immensely with a higher score. Beauty is, this can all be addressed if the background is known.
Like all statistical science, it helps place things into perspective, it helps facilitate understanding, when I took it for IC it helped make the repair of me feel that much more vital.

My score is a 7 of 10.
My WW score is an 8 of 10




Today I got Off from any DB I think. Not sure what it was. We both were taking s4 somewhere. She wanted to ask about my ADHD diagnosis, did not expect that. Had questions about it; what I was doing, how did I feel, was mind working better, more focus? I thought, why not, can only be good if she hears it, we did not really discuss beyond a couple emails following my initial diagnosis. I slipped into being an actual human around her for 20 minutes, just speaking to her like someone who has been asked about an issue they care about for themselves, showing what they learned. Took care of s4 and moved on. Been a strange day.