newbie. sep 6months. Little hope for reconcilation

[Cessna]

2-3 years ago super irritable not just with me. Talked about S for a couple years. To be fair. Both of us have super stressful sales jobs. Kids. life events. Little time for each other. (I certainly could of done way more). But, definitely noticed increased anger. Anger was not lineal. Just "boom" super angry no matter the issue big or small.

[sandi2]

Need to ask you questions, so I hope you don't think you're being drilled. Is it unusual for your W to have anger and resentment about past issues?

Did your W try to manipulate or bully you? Did she teach the kids to show respect to their father? How would she act toward you, in front of the kids? Respectful? Make degrading comments, roll eyes, speak to you through the kids, make you the butt of jokes, sarcastic, fuss/fight, etc.?

How did you both emotionally abuse one another?

Is she physically healthy, have any mental problems, hormone issues? Does she have low self-esteem or is she confident? Does she have several good friends who offer her support?

You said your kids are grown, how old are they? They all just up and moved out together?

I know these are a lot of questions, Mike. There could be other issues at play with your W (not OM), so we need as much background as you can tell us.

[Cessna]

No manipulation. Yell at me in front of them. I would too. Emotional abuse would say crappy things in the heat of the moment. 2 out of school. 14 and 17 others. Trying to be anonymous. I get along great with kids. I'm sure hormone issues. Always Hot. I can tell she would tell kids her side of story of past issues that they wouldn't remember. Show respect? 40/60? I believe she has lots of friends that show support. I saw a real negative turn around after 3 of them got a divorce. I don't know these friends. texting, facebook? Healthy yes, low self-esteem kinda of (but absolutely no reason!) Warned me for a year they were moving out. Unusually sensitive now about past issues.

[Surfer]

She's going though the change by the sounds???

[sandi2]

Okay, thanks for answering. Just a few more, and then I'll try to slow down on asking so many.

Has your W recently lost someone who was very close? Do you know of any childhood abuse, or some terrible experience she suffered?

What about depression? Does she take any meds for depression, nerves, sleep, panic attacks, etc.?

Has she seen a doctor about her hormones?

[Cessna]

yes 1 member, yes depress, yes sleep, yes dr. don't know diag

[Cadet]

yes 1 member, yes depress, yes sleep, yes dr. don't know diag

Yes she has all the ingredients for a mid life crisis.

[Cessna]

don't know what to do or say? I've been told I ruined her life, nothing ever good about our marriage, I'm a liar, other people agree? Now screaming divorce? this is said every conversation (few)unless people around. Mostly phone calls. some texts? Its been worse since she moved out.

[Cadet]

I've been told I ruined her life, nothing ever good about our marriage, I'm a liar, other people agree?

Why are you believing what she SAYS?

My first post says to believe NOTHING she says! - OK?

don't know what to do or say?

SAY NOTHING - walk away from her if she is spewing this anger, without saying a word.

[Cessna]

exactly! cutting words short circuit brain. Gotta be aware and adjust. Thanks!