More confused than before

[Buxom]

Soto, u are the hardest to reply to cos it hurts that in many ways you are right. I know I have every right to leave him and D him etc. I'm not ready. I have not done everything yet, and I'm not ready to do ultimatums. I was in severe denial for years cos what we had was so good for so long and when I felt him sliding away I became super wife and did all the wrong, nice girl things. Wish I had not been so naive and in denial for so long. But I was and the veil of denial lifted only a little over a month ago. I've been dbing since before that.
You should also know that in Canada, you can't kick someone e out of the house or keep them out once they leave. I did ask him to leave on June 25 when we had a big blow out fight and D was his trump card. I handled it pouring with defensiveness and reacting. I've been Mich more successful dbing since. He has noticed and doesn't trust it. He's also add I Ted and now that he's off booze, addiction transfer to food and texting,sexting is his new drug. He gets that. We talked about it.

I know I may be taken for a fool and there may come a point where I'll do the hard line. I have to be fully ready and willing to accept my consequences of what I do. I know I am enmeshed and I need to work on my codependent nature.

Another factor is WH is just starting IC for his incest and gender issues. I promised I would walk that with him. A lot of the current issues will come up in the IC and better dealt with there than having more tension at home. My reasoning. I am creating a zone of safety here for all of us and the lighthouse can't he the fight house. If I'm still being naive, I accept that. I truly appreciate people coming to be on my side and I love that you shared your thots. It may still happen. I just won't do anything before its time.