Cherry, I have read cadets work repeatedly and the boundary one is as hard to grasp, for me as the detachment.

Truly tho, I really do not think I am ready to think of and carry out he appropriate consequences more than tell him what I want or need to have happen. I keep coming back to the DB guidelines of let him do what he's gonna do. My guess is, while I don't like what he's doing, if I can detach better, he will be on his own to figure it out. Doesn't the DB stuff say not to interfere with the process or it gets set back or takes longer?

I thot it was a good sign he can see both sides of his turmoil and see the damaged caused. I also agree that he is not capable of love right now. If you can't love yourself, it's hard to love another.

Me54 WH48
S18 D16
M 22 T 24
EA-PA-EA 2011-2015
Separated 10/14 - 06/15
BD1 02/14
BD2 05/16
BD3 08/21/16 and began drinking again
Working on me and liking me again