Buxom -- just checking in to say hi and offer support. Also, I may have missed it, but is your H in IC? It seems impossible that he'll ever sort all of his issues, past abuse, etc. without the help of at least one mental health professional. That's a job (his IC) you can't hope to or attempt to tackle. Hang in there!
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)