cheesyt -- I so much can relate. I was caught completely unaware when the BD came and have been trying ever since to get my W to see enough value in what we could be to be willing to work at it, go see a MC, etc. To date I haven't been successful, and I know what you're feeling. Our brains can be our own worst enemy because they have the ability to show us what it could be like, if only . . .

Hankg in there!

Me: 46
W: 44
Married: 17
Together 21
D13; S10
BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you)
Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage
Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)