Anyway....H asked if something was on my mind that we needed to talk about. I said, well after getting our credit card bill and conv with d, I was not wanting to make any assumeptions. "So, H, did you go to FL with OW?" He said there were people from work he saw in FL, but he went on his own, with no one. I listened....no comments. I then said.."well we agreed to ask if anything was confusing us about each other, not to make any aSSumptions, right?" He agreed. He said..."why have yo been gone so much..." I said, "are you assuming things about me that you have questions about?" He said, well I think you would tell me if I neede to know anything about you." I said, right. He said he is ready now for us to talk more about what our future may be with or without each other. He said he wants to compare thoughts on where we are at and where we are going. He said he has had quality time to think things thru and we can talk Tues. I said, (in an upbeat fashion)..."that's fine....I've had lots of quality time to think things through for me....and this time apart has been very good for me. I feel more independent and I've had many thoughts regarding MY future."
This is all 180s for me....to gently, unemtionally confront...or at least ask. To respond carefully, and to listen more. It felt good inside. However this talk goes....I am ready to be confident and straight forward. No real utimatums....just keep moving in a forward direction.
Obviously....holding this all in...talking with a few friends...got me all wigged out inside....then laying it out to H....I am feeling SOOOOOOOO much better. REally I was kind of an internal mess Fri-Sun. (no one really knew...good at acting!)
H also asked when I was leaving for NYC. I said Sat...he offered to come out and take me to the airport. Wow....that's a first since before the sep. Again, a few good baby steps. Gotta keep my cool this week.
goes....I am ready to be confident and straight forward. No real utimatums....just keep moving in a forward direction.
