I needed to hear your feedback....Nik you were right about me NOT truly detaching if all these crazymaking thoughts are running through my head. And, Holdingon.....you are soooo right about giving this to God....letting Him guide me and the future. Sigh.....some days I "get it" better than others!
H called again last night, twice. We talked logistics about kids more. He asked me to go with him on May 14 to get son in college....so I could drive part way (3 hrs ea way) and he could work some on his laptop....and of course talk more. (WHATEVER!?!?) I said I wasn't sure if I had to work that day, and I would get back to him. I couldn't tell if the "working" part was an excuse to get me to go...or if he really wanted help, so he could work....he's involved in a huge work issue in SEattle for the whole month of May. Will be in and out of town with it. Then again, I also wonder if he's manipulatin me into going, so he culd back out at the last minute and not go at all....knowing I had arranged my schedule to go. I may continue to be vague on that comittment.
He did say how swamped he was this week-end, so probably would come out....I said, "yeah, the weather's gonna be lousy and my week-end is filling up anyway."
I then beat him to the punch to hang up....was somewhat abrupt.
He then called back about 15 min later to see if I was doing ok. I said, "yea, fine." He said..."is there something on your mind....you seemed kind of abrupt about hanging up." I said.....oh, I thought your phone was breaking up and I wanted to finish some things up here....but that I was fine." In actuality....I was still rumbling about the conv with D and H's past vac trip around Easter. I was NOT about to go into that.
Gotta get back to detachment....seems like I was doing it, and then slipped these past few days. Uggggh.
