How to rekindle love?

[EDF]

Glad so many things seem to be moving in a positive direction Rose!

Your recent posts/sitch kinda struck a chord with me, because I find myself kind of on the other side where my W is generally doing more to try and meet my touch/intimacy needs, but I have a lot of concerns over how serious she is, and whether it will last.

It sounds like you're really putting effort into initiating, flirting, being responsive, etc and certainly that's critical.

Can't guarantee your H is having the same thoughts I am, but wanted to share my own personal (possibly flawed, probably selfish) thinking from my current struggles just in case any of it was helpful or gives another perspective.

I don't have any great insights on maintaining/improving libido, or convincing your H that your libido is improved, but really I wonder if libido is a bit of a red herring. (Certainly your needs being met is hugely important, and a very worthwhile long-term project for the two of you, but right now I'm just focusing on the short-term)

At the base level, what I really desire is to know that my W wants to please me, and that she will continue to want to please me. Her having a raging libido would be one way to guarantee that, but I know she has the lower libido so relying on her being in the mood seems like a very shaky long-term proposition. So maybe don't worry too much over trying to convince your H that your libido or desire for sex has improved, but instead try to show him that your desire to do what it takes to please *him* has improved. I think the latter might be easier for H to trust.

Men, sexually, are pretty straight forward. It's like a button where a few minutes of effort can make the man feel incredible. From my personal male "all about me" perspective, why doesn't my wife want to push that button all the time? Even if my W isn't in the mood, or is busy, or whatever... there are a lot of creative ways to push the button. If my wife had a button like that, I would be pounding it constantly... just seems like a no-brainer.

So maybe show your husband that your libido/arousal isn't a limiting factor, you just really appreciate him and like pushing his button because of how it makes him feel.