Try to see the humor...if not, we all go batshit! In the midst of pain and trauma, we need our sense of humor the most.
Don't let some sorry-ass Goonies scare ya off!
Keep coming back here....you'll be just fine with some rabble rousers.
On a serious note, I am so sorry that you are struggling and trying to find some answers to your sitch. One way to do it is to visit other posters' threads in the Newcomers forum and say "hey, I am new here. Just wanted to say "hi"." That way, you'll get some traffic back on your own thread.
Sandi has asked good questions for you. She's a good egg and you cannot go wrong with Sandi swinging by here.
Have you been able to read the homework Cadet posted here? It would be an excellent place to start to get you oriented to the DBing process.
Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka that I totally agree with.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
I'm the sorry-ass Goonie and I'm sorry I chased you away. Now you understand my WW's point of view.
Seriously, the 180 vs 360 thing wasn't aimed at you at all. I don't do a good job of giving newbies (or anyone) advice and I saw your thread moving off the first page so I thought I'd post something humorous to keep your post on the first page and thus you'd have a higher probability of getting more responses.
That said, I love your name change. The first airplane I flew, and my first solo flight, was in a Cessna 150 at the ripe old age of 16. That was a magical time for me; I was taking lessons at a small rural airport and my instructor was a crop duster. He didn't talk much and when he did talk, he talked in grunt-speak. I'd always have to figure out what he wanted me to do. The stories I could tell...
Anyway, I hope you come back. Again, I'm sorry about the stupid humor; it really wasn't aimed at you.
I'm the sorry-ass Goonie and I'm sorry I chased you away. Now you understand my WW's point of view.
Seriously, the 180 vs 360 thing wasn't aimed at you at all. I don't do a good job of giving newbies (or anyone) advice and I saw your thread moving off the first page so I thought I'd post something humorous to keep your post on the first page and thus you'd have a higher probability of getting more responses.
That said, I love your name change. The first airplane I flew, and my first solo flight, was in a Cessna 150 at the ripe old age of 16. That was a magical time for me; I was taking lessons at a small rural airport and my instructor was a crop duster. He didn't talk much and when he did talk, he talked in grunt-speak. I'd always have to figure out what he wanted me to do. The stories I could tell...
Anyway, I hope you come back. Again, I'm sorry about the stupid humor; it really wasn't aimed at you.
And you see, there I go again, I'm pursuing...
I will continue the hijack, I too have flown those airplanes. And you see the big one in my profile picture. 3000 hours. I hope you get to continue to fly.
Cessna, hoping you come back man. A lot of help to be had here. To echo what doodler said, without our senses of humor, I think we'd of all gone insane long ago.
Seriously though, give us your background and let us into your story. Hard to help when there's no details about your sitch. We're all here to support you!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
missed the homework assignment somehow. Have read all prerequisites DB, DR, rules, validations etc.
fighting arguing for some time. emotional abuse both sides. I've curbed quite it bit 2 yrs. She doesn't admit to any. Seems way more mad (at everything no matter how small) after leaving than from before. where she possibly could get mad will. I'm very validating. Makes her more mad. Zero positive movement even after I see some success. Seen her handful of times, glares. says mean things about present and past. Don't recognize her expressions now? Understand. This is for me and not her. Sounds like normal behavior? Why? Feels like she's being coached because of new terminology
Cessna, I'm sorry things are so hard right now. I'm still fairly new here and I can tell you , it takes time, lots of time and patience! We all want it to be a quick fix but it's not cos we do not have any control on what she does. If she's in a midlife crisis (MLC... ) Then there are stages she will go thru. Have you read the thread from Cadets homework on the LBS? I found it helpful. You are lucky here that there are more men here with WW to assist you.
When did you first notice things going wrong? What was happening then and just in the months prior?
Me54 WH48 S18 D16 M 22 T 24 EA-PA-EA 2011-2015 Separated 10/14 - 06/15 BD1 02/14 BD2 05/16 BD3 08/21/16 and began drinking again Working on me and liking me again
