Episode 3 - The Divorce Awakens

[qt4x11]

I think you just want your marriage to be saved, but you don't want to do the work. And the work it takes is on yourself. And if your M isn't saved, then you don't repeat cycles and deal with the deep stuff.

There is no work to do. She told me to my face that it's over. I have to move on.

This dating rule you mention - I think this is from long ago because I have not heard of it.


So let me get this straight - it's perfectly alright to endlessly perseverate over 'how can I get my wife back OMG I have to detach!' and write about it all day on these boards for YEARS. It's ok to go 3 years (!) 'working on yourself' with no sex. Driving ourselves crazy, second guessing everything we do - turning ourselves NEUROTIC over 'detaching and letting go'. All with the ultimate intention of 'reconciliation'.

But the minute I mention even the possibility of going out for coffee with someone who could just be a friend in the long run ... then I'm making a huge mistake that could cost me my marriage (which my W is already doing a great job of throwing in the trash).