mleigh, Your sodium level could have dropped a bit to cause the calves to cramp and your stomach to fill sick. Get some Gatorade and drink it. Your electrolytes may be off balance just a bit.
Your h isn't ready to reconcile and return home. He's still got a lot of work to do and if he were to return home now...it would be very stressful, not only for you, but your son as well, because your h would still be confused and unhappy, as well as your expectations would begin to rise and you will become frustrated w/him there and not being a supportive partner in the raising of your son and as a partner to you.
I know you would dearly love for him to return home...but he's got to work out his issues and his concerns are very valid for himself, you and your son. Please do not rush the process...it's got to go slowly and if you rush it, it may not go the way that you would like it to go.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
