Very close to giving up

[Jug]

I have the DR book as well as two books recommended by the coach and a stack of others on affairs and communication. Some I've read several times.

I own my contributions to the marriage not being good and have been working on them. They are rooted in attitude and she has even commented on my improvements some times. "I'm jealous of your next wife."

I've also been attending cbt sessions for my anxiety. It seems to help.

I recognize that these things all benefit me even if my marriage is doomed.