I like your post. Firstly I am happy things are going well. Secondly you know the keep going with your own work .
It is great you don't take things for granted, either with H or even within your own changes. That is good as long as you use it to avoid complacency but do not live in fear.
Would you be Willing to comment on what helped you most turn around the situation?I ask for newbies and not so new!
To be honest, I think the most important things had to do with H and with circumstances. H is at heart a very kind and loyal man. (So much so that I worry he is just stuffing down his feelings and things haven't improved as much from his perspective as I think.)
In terms of circumstances, our M had a lot of strengths along with the major libido issue, so there was a lot to build on. And I clued in relatively early--before H had made a decision to leave. There was no A.
The things that helped me most were immediately seeking an IC, GAL, and figuring out that the detachment I needed was not of the "treat him like a neighbor" variety. Also, stopping R talks and finding things we could do together that didn't tempt us to talk about the R.
Really though, I don't have all the answers. I feel lucky.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
