Well, my W contacted me last night about mediation again. At first it was a fine conversation and then all the sudden she kicked in with her attitude and started giving me a hard time about everything!

Then she brought up that she wants us to try to settle this on our own without lawyer and told me about some book her friend who is a lawyer said we could use. And I told her I don't feel comfortable with that because I don't want to mess it up. Really what I meant was "I want everything to be legally binding so in 6 months you can't try to f**k me over"

And of course she expects me to do all the heavy lifting and call around to places and find a mediator.. I'm conflicted about this because Yes I was the one that asked for a mediator but I only asked for one because she filed for D...

Sometimes when I interact with the person my W is now I feel like I will never want to R with this person. I know that's partially because she's so drastically different than she was a few months ago but it does make me wonder if maybe I am just better off without her.

W:32 M:26
T:5 yrs M: 3 yr
BD: JUN 2016
W Moved out: early JUL 2016
W Filed for D: mid JUL 2016
EA: 06/16?
PA: 07/16
Moved in w/ ow: 07/16
D final: 10/16