Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #2]

[roist]

Snooping is a hot topic here, with many arguing for and against. Honestly snooping is not the issue.It is how you can handle what you find and whatyou do with your new knowledge.

Snooping has no place in a healthy R, but then most of us here don't have a healthy R. In an unhealthy R it can be useful to distinguish between WAS or WS. It can be useful if you want to find proof and confront. But that is another topic.

Snooping is very bad for the lbs. Whatever you find,your mind will twist it, exaggerate it and especially replay it over and over. That plays havoc with your mental state. I kept tabs on an inappropriate friend who turned out to be just that, though maybe more in W's head. Snooping helped me stay the course but there was a price to pay.

Now that inappropriate friend is dormant. I refuse to use the term gone as we don't know what the future holds. But things are just as bad if not worse despite his absence. So it has nothing to do with OM. It is between you and W. Obsessing on an OM is a waste of energy and time. Use that time to focus on YOU and what you can control. Work on yourself. GAL. Etc

Plus ye are separated. In house but separated. You have to get on with your life as if she is not coming back. It is the only way to survive and the only way there is a chance she will change her mind.

I would not wish in house Sep on anyone, but you can get through this. Best wishes.


PS stop mind reading... ..