Thanks Hawho. Yes, I feel so much better, it's such a relief and I feel like I have a new place to work from. I didn't realize how much this was taking out of me. I've been exhausted all weekend.
W came over yesterday morning and stayed into the afternoon. We took the kids to the park for awhile and ended up talking a little more. W kept looking at jobs and places to live. Showing them to me and asking me what I thought. Sometimes she would make comments about how she didn't know what she was going to do and where she would live. I can't help but thinking about some of the things she said this weekend. A few are: -"I don't want to go back to the way things were before." I told her I didn't either because it got us to where we are at. I didn't say any more but wanted to say I wanted something better for us. -She told me she was happy for me with some of the changes I've made. -She told me separating has been hard and she hasn't always been happy separating and it has been hard. -She told me she wasn't over our friend's death. It was a year yesterday so I'm sure that added to her stress.
I hope this was a wake up for her, she certainly didn't expect it. She has a black eye. She told me when she read the letter she screamed and threw herself on her bed and hit her face. She sounded bad again tonight, idk if it's depression or if she's turned mad towards me, I guess it's not my problem if she's mad.
I'm sticking to working on bettering myself but honestly I hope there will be a better chance of her seeing it since she will be closer. I keep reminding myself this didn't happen overnight and it won't go away overnight. Tying to keep my expectations low and take the high road even though the first part of that is difficult.
