Hey all....thanks for visiting and offering up such supportive, timely advice.

Overall the afternoon went quite well. I will review the positives briefly. By the way H did not initiate ML...just a hug at the end of the day. Which was pleasant.

Positives:

H called twice to set up our plan
He was on time
He was friendly (which is normal the last few months)
Brought his laundry (meant he was staying for at least 3 hrs) 2nd time since the S....he does it on his own.
Had a list of things to discuss: Kids college logistics, D graduation in Seattle, finances, cars, his work

He asked how I was doing. I said "I'm doing well, things are going pretty good for me. Keeping busy, enjoying work, friends, and gaining a lot of perspective on things." I was upbeat, pleasant, animated. He asked aobut my visit with friends in CA and my visit with my Mom in AZ.

I asked him how he was doing. He said, "well work is no different, lots of pieces dissatisfying, people he doesn't repect and trust....but it pays well....and he's not making any changes in the near future." "He talked aobut his self maintanance...said that was going well. Said he was getting quality time alone to think things through and making some headway." I just listened and validated, didn't ask for specifics at all. (tho I wanted to....and was waiting for a bomb, silently) That's all on his personal front.

He then told me he is thinking I should use his new car and he take mine. He's getting one May 5. He said he doesn't drive much...walks and trains....so I should have the best car. We talked about plans to get s at college...he said he was willing to take day off of work to get him (that's usually my job!) He asked if I wanted to go too. I said, we'd see what our s wanted. We planned our visit to Seattle for D grad in June. We talked about spending a couple nights together as family.

He told me about his apt more...the area. He mentioned he lives near a comedy club that I love to go to. He said, maybe you could come into the city and we could go together sometime. I said, "yeah, maybe"

He asked me to give him a haircut (one of my specialties)

Asked if I wanted to take a long walk with our dog. We did. That was nice....something we always used to do.

At one point, I asked if he had told anyone he worked with about our Sep. He said, "no not at all." He didn't want speculation/gossip flying around. I said, I had....and thought it was getting time to be more honest with those around us. He said...."we don't have a story yet...a reason to give others.." "I know you talk with your close friends, etc....he just doesn't have any trusted ones." I asked about the few work friends he shared confidences with. He said,"yeah they know....but not everything...just that we are dealing with marriage issues in our own way." Whatever that means!! He said we still have time....let's see how things go.

He talked about his ideas if he one day quit his job and the ratrace and where he would like to live. How to simplify his life. Asked me what I thought. We talked about Colorado, Utah, ....we used to always talk like this...but he hasn't over over a year and a half. He was careful not to say "we"...yet he was interested in my response. Interesting

He asked about dinner and suggested take-out, so I wouldn't have to cook. Our fav place was closed, so I offered to cook something simple. He liked it and we had a simple dinner and a drink.

I was his friend....rolled with it. He packed up his car, came back inside and gave me a hug good-bye. That was the first he initiated in over 2 months. He mentioned he might want to come out again Sat and hit golf balls, maybe I would too? I said, "maybe...let's see how the weather is." He said he'd call at the end of the week. He is going to Seattle Mon-Thu...will see our D for dinner.

He called about 10 minutes later, while on the road...to say he enjoyed the afternoon, our talks, and really appreciated the dinner. I said, yes, it was a nice afternoon.

Ok....all in all...like I said, it was pleasant. Of course as I start to overanalyze....I can take bits and pieces and conjure up stuff.....but you know what....I AM NOT GOING THERE....ANYMORE!!!! No more crazymaking for this Mooka. Like I said....over and over...I am giving this to God and DETACHING.

Thanks for wading through another long-winded chapter from Mooka. I do feel pretty good, kind of at peace.

Will catch up with the rest of you tomorrow. Ciao!!

Mooka