Learning, growing and believing....

[mleigh4]

For me, moving on and starting a new life means letting go of the hope I had that we would be able to work through this. It means not living each day as though my marriage can be saved. It means living each day accepting we are over and will eventually be divorced. It is preparing myself for that. It is not daydreaming about finally travelling together again, or seeing images of us together. It means I need to stop hesitating on giving up, to stop trying to save this. I suppose it is dropping the rope completely.

As far as D, I know it is coming. I am pretty sure it would not be him initiating it. I expect it will be me and I will when I need to.

I have always had hope, it has always been there, but after hearing the same rant AGAIN, I see he hasn't moved, for 3 years. I feel I have done all I can do, including my last attempt at a growing friendship. I don't think I imagined the lack of affection or love from him, it's not in him. I need to let this go. It may or may not be MLC, we don't know.... 3 years. The milestone is glowing in my head loud and clear. I have reached my limit. I will not have my own emotional struggles thrown at me as a means for him to justify his actions any longer.

I am letting go of hope and will no longer put any effort into saving or standing for us. That is my way of moving on.

Thank you Job