5 months & counting

[sr9e2d7]

So I totally failed at not communicating with him. He kept reaching out and at first I was doing great but eventually I gave in. It doesn't make sense - I found out he's having an affair. I should be disgusted by him, I should hate his guts. But I don't. How pathetic is that?!? I think about what it would feel like to ignore him, and it doesn't feel good. I haven't been able to master the "playing it cool" vs "being a bitch". I don't even know that I want him back, but I want the chance to try. It feels like he's realizing the error of his ways but again, that could be all words.