Hmm.. I read this and I'm struck by how you have different expectations than "what is". I can feel the anger toward Bubbles in your message.
I don't blame you, having been there. But I have a few things to suggest: Bubbles is not the prize. Believe me when I tell you - not the prize you're thinking. I know on an educational level you know that but it doesn't seem to have sunk in yet. That's a rat hole that can really ruin your outlook.
As for the memory re-do? Been there. It'll make you crazy if you aren't careful. Things get warped more than retold, but even those memories will change with H as time goes on. It's a weird trip to be sure. I really think it is a great idea to see a counsellor to talk it over with. Be careful when you pick a counsellor though - choose wisely. And know that you are the keeper of the memories. They happened. They were good, bad, and everything in between. But you have the memories and nobody can take those. Latch on to them and don't let anyone tell you differently about them.
People who "re-remember" often do so to fit the situation or feelings at the time. Nothing more than that. Don't believe that they don't change (again) or that they are how that person really views things. That can change too.
Try not to have expectations that he'll respond to any communications. Like a sullen teenager, they make things all about them and reply or initiate when it suits. Working through the lawyer ONLY helps calm that crazy, passive-aggressive behavior. And it helps to have a record that can be used, if for nothing else, for your sanity that what was said actually was. There will be much flip-flopping most likely.
Don't be surprised if it unsettles you. If it didn't, that would be really weird after all those years together.
Peace,
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
