I don't think she's ready for all that yet. When she had her operation, the kids were with me for three weeks, and they had such a good time, when they were telling W about it, she went moody and aggressive. Basically, she got pissed off that I was coping and fairly settled.
As for timescale, well, I think 14 months is a long time for me. It's 14 months where the kids have been 'damaged' and I'm not sure how that can ever be mended.
The thing I am trying to picture is where she is in the process. She doesn't seem to match anybody's sitch. I know there are degrees of separation in everybody's story, but she seems perfectly capable of holding it together in front of me, and I don't see any random behaviour. OK, we're five miles apart and I don't see her every day, so maybe it's just a mask. Are they good at masks?
My W once told me she had a mini MLC when she was 30. It lasted a year (it's when my SD was born), but she left her 1stH when she was 31. I worry, now, that the things she told me about what he did were 'stories' - much the same as I can imagine she's telling her family to justify her leaving. Trust would also be difficult to re-establish as well.
Thanks Cadet. I have been re-doing my homework recently (it never hurts to gain further knowledge) and I would urge any newbie to keep re-reading and look at other threads to get practical tips. You're not alone!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
