Look Forward & Ignore the Anger Spew

[trumpet]

I still say wife, and then correct myself and say ex-wife. Happened today again. Ugh. People who've been though it tell me to give myself a break. I try.

I've been filling time at the gym and with friends - telling my story or filling in the story I told previously. It feels good. Some are more interested than others. Some just don't know what to say, so they bounce around on subjects. I can see why. I don't think about ex-wife much. Some moments here and there where I just think 'why?'... but I'm not in control of that ship. I trust God will help me, and keep the waters smooth in front of me. He's given me much to be thankful for so far after the D.

Rich, I'm sure STBXW is cracking. She had to sometime. My Ex isn't cracking - she's enjoying winning. In her mind, she has won. Alas, it was a Pyrrhic victory. Time will teach her that lesson - I cannot.

One thing I've learned is that I was held in high regard to her when we married. I was to be her white knight, her super-hero. I never was, but I was placed on that pedestal.
I no longer garner any respect in her eyes. I am a monster, an addict, and a wife abuser. All of it is false, but it needs to be true to her to give reason and justification for her actions and feelings.

Keep working. Keep moving. Keep posting. Talk with you soon.